Tony Miller put together a 11 man team to take on The Civil Service at football....find out how the 10 (Minus Jim) got on. It's not pretty reading.....10 man SCCC 1 v Civil Service 5

9.15am looked out of the window and its windy and raining. Txt sent to the captain is it waterlogged? reply NO! So off to Baslow.

The team turn up, there is no ref and the opposition have forgotten their kit! We have a very dapper 1973 Plymouth Argyle away strip which is only brought into the 21st century by the sponsorship of Play Station 2.

The opposition manage to borrow a kit off Baslow and we are a man short due to the non appearance of Jim Tasker.

The team lines up as follows

1. Cymbols in his new white umbro boots and gloves
2. Shakey and his golden crown
3. Kenny 'Waif' Samson
4. Simmo junior and jock strap
5. Ham string Tony 'DV' Adams
6 No Show Tasker
7. Jan 'Wally' Molby (Who was our best player in my opinion)
8. Tony 'Wheres Jim' Miller
9. Chris 'White men cant jump' Stewart
10 Lord of the Nutmegs Dicko
11. Noel 'Do they know Ive no left foot' Bremner!!!

offical rugby league timer Collette init Collette from the warmth of the car.

So onto the game and after much kicking and miss timed passes the opposition began to get on top and eventually scored after about 35 minutes when Kenny failed to clear the ball after several attempts and the right winger raced through and slotted under the despairing cold and muddy cymbols.

SCCC created two real opportunities in the first half when White men really couldnt jump and a header went over the bar when it seamed easier to score. Molby then sent a thunderous shot against the post, before trying his luck again and getting the ball stuck in a 40feet high tree.

The car horn sounded for half time and DV nursed his tender hamstring, Goldie locks needed some oxygen (Shame on you Colegate) and Stewie kept telling everyone how difficult his header was.

So to the second half and Collegiate were defending a reasonable incline and strong wind. The Civil Service were beginnning to have a field day. lord and TM decided attack was the best policy and left DV Kenny Simmo and Goldie locks a lot exposed.

A tame shot from the opposition saw Cymbols only manage to pat the ball tamely into the centre forwards lap from one yard 2-0. A wild challenge from the very right footed Noel resulted in a 40 yard freekick which whistled over the stranded and highly embarrassed goalkeeper. Stewie mentioned that he must have a disease that is catching and I caught it at half time (Git).

3-0 and it was looking bad by the time number 4 went in. We were as water tight as the titanic. Then came the goal of the game.

Goaldie locks who had got a bit of second win threaded a ball through to Molby and a one two saw the ball wide down the right, a perfect cross at waist height saw Stewie trip, fall over backwards and volley home from 10 yards out. A magnificant goal!

The Civil Service then chipped the hapless goalkeeper for their 5th and the whistle mercifully came. 5-1 No bookings 8 offsides 1 handball and we only kicked their centreforward twice!

There was talk of a rematch???