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I'm sure you'll all like to join me in congratulating Waif and his Mrs Liz on the birth of their second child, Jack.

Jack was born on Boxing Day and already the likeness with his father is clear for all to see. It's rumoured that his journey from the womb was rather crab-like (ala Waif's batting style) and on entering the world, Jack looked around the delivery suite, grabbed a hankerchief and in true Longley style, blew his hooter like a good 'un. Fortunately, Jack, like his elder brother Daniel appear to have been spared the infamous Longley nose.

The news of Jack's birth has had mixed response particularly in the Barnsley region where Elsecar fast bowling hero, Paul Tasker was quoted as saying " **** me! Now there's 3 of them going to be trying to destroy me! I'm off to join the Central Yorkshire League!" Elsecar CC are currently deciding whether to take legal action against both Longers and Colegiate.

Waif meanwhile is over the moon and celebrated Jack's arrival by cracking open the Lenor, putting a wash on and attacking the pile of ironing that had been left for him. This part is actually a part-lie. Waif also got s**t-faced as usual.

It is in fact no accident that Waif has named his children Jack and Daniel which is very reminiscent of a famous alcoholic drink. However, reports that he is sponsored by the brewers of Jack Daniels are unfounded at this stage. I'm sure we will learn more when Longers' autobiography, 'Me, the ironiong and a bottle of Thunderbird.' is released in the summer.

Seriously though, congratulations to both Longers and Liz and of course Wiz who is now a specialist Grandafather